he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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