No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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