Well douche your snatch and let's go!
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
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Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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