she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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