so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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