Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize