it was like his penis was on wheels.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
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we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
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We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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