okay pat passed out under dana's car
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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