Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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