I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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