I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
my shit smells like andre
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Randomize