guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
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Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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