she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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