Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
that's an acceptable place to lick
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize