I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, beer. Big fan.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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