...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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