guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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