guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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