I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
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he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
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Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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