Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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