why didn't you poke me back
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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