would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize