Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize