I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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