I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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