Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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