I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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