And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
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He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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