it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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