I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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