nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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