I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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