I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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