i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize