I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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