I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
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The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
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we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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