I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize