i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
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I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
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Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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