we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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