i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
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Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
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I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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