im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Sorry about my life...
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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