I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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