I feel like abortions should bother me more
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize