It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Randomize