Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
they're like a gay fantastic four
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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