how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The power of my boobs compel you
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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