i always forget guys have bellybuttons
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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