On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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