I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize