My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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